Ajay and Lalita (for Novella)

I was only six the day Ajay came to live with us. His parents were killed during a missile attack on his village and my father had been named his guardian. Ajay was ten at the time and very quiet. His eyes, a surprising hazel, were filled with the pain and horror of recent events but when my father introduced us he let me hold his hand in comfort and I knew, even then, that he needed me as much as I needed him. My mother’s body was weak and my birth had damaged her beyond repair. Where most families had three or more children my family only had me and my life so far had been a lonely one. Ajay with his solemn presence filled a hole in our family and we quickly welcomed him into our home almost forgetting that we had had a life before him and forgetting the past that, unknown to us, continued to be his present.

Maze

I wonder where it all went, all that emotion and beauty and sweetness. It has been replaced by a bitter taste and fiery anger. The bruise on my arm is still tender, a half circle signaling a piece of the never ending argument that is taking place even in silence.

Indecisiveness has ruined it, all of it. I wish we could start anew, friends, no catty verbal slaps and grudges. I wish I hadn't been a step behind at every corner. I wish we had been on the same page. Instead claustrophobia set in, terrifying questions were posed and I pushed you away a day at a time. I know how it happened and yet I still find myself asking the question.

The maze is so complex now, there is no way to find a path back, there is only the road ahead.

Update

Sorry it's been so long. After BGIA ended I spent a week at my mom's friend's apartment, it was amazing. I got to relax and have a ton of time to myself before heading home for three weeks. My time at home was great too, it was just what summer is supposed to be. I watched a ton of TV, wrote my essay for Tom Parker, ate all of my favorite foods (gained a few pounds in the process haha) and saw my friends. It went by far to quickly. Before leaving, mom and I went to eat at Delancey in Seattle, Orangette's new restaurant, it was delicious.

Once I got to Bard, PC training began right away but it turned out to be a lot better than I had thought it would be :)
Now my first week of Senior year is already over and I'm still floundering a bit, figuring out classes, terrified by senior project, but happy. I know I'm going to keep saying this over and over but I can't believe I'm a senior. One year and then the bubble I've been living in for four years disappears, real life here I come, eek!

I can't take the Ulysses history class cause I just don't have enough time and Poetry and Society is boring but I'm still in Novella, and Photo, History and the News. Senior Project of course and hopefully Mark Danner's literature class. I will see on Tuesday. Working at DOSO is really great. I'm also now on the fundraising committee for the Senior class but I think it's all going to be awesome. Seeing Yuting again is wonderful, I missed her a lot. Life is good!