"One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax…" -Osho

From: flawsstitchedwithgoodintentions

i’ve reached a point in my life
that has made me doubt everyone.
i don’t believe that
i can be loved at all,
and when someone says
that they do love me,
i simply tell them
that there’s no need
for them to lie to me.

it’s easier to believe
that no one ever loved me
than it is
to come to terms with
the fact that one day
they will simply stop.

I have to admit, I have been pretty disappointed by people lately. Common courtesy goes a long way and it's surprising how many individuals are lacking. I've been home since the end of June, almost five months and I'm starting to get antsy. I love my home town but most of the people who are my age still living here are not people I have any desire to spend time with. It's not that they are bad people, I just have a hard time relating. We don't realize how much we change until we go away and come back.

All I wanted was to feel free after finishing my dissertation and in some sense I got what I wished for but in some ways I still feel trapped and stuck. I have no idea what I want to do next. I'm trying to figure out my future but nothing has caught my eye, I'm not excited...I'm just resigned to the fact that eventually I have to get a job and grow up. I think in an effort to avoid thinking about this I jumped into situations these past few months that weren't right for me. I've been making the wrong choices because I'm not ready for the right ones. My birthday is next month, a new year. Hopefully it will be better than the last. I want to find something to be passionate about.

The quickest way to feel like a fool, is to feel too deeply, too soon.