What happens if you meet the person you're meant to be with and you don't know it, or you're not sure? What if you meet that person and it's just the wrong time and by the time it's right they're gone? Does that mean you've lost your chance, lost the person you were meant to be with or does that mean they were never the person for you in the first place?

UN and so much more

Life has been pretty crazy lately. Through one of my professors at BGIA I got to go volunteer with the Media Unit at the UN for the opening of the GA. I got there Monday afternoon, settled in at Harriet's, went to dinner with Genia and then woke up bright and early for work on Tuesday. I was fortunate to get the role of CNN escort so I ran around taking the different crews to the GA booths and the delegates entrance. I got to see Obama, Ahmadinejad, Zuma, the presidents of China and Russia. The president of Panama winked at me when he came in for an interview at CNN, he's really into baseball haha. I also shook hands with the PM of New Zealand, he was very nice. I got to see Obama, Chavez and Ahmadinejad make their speeches in the GA. It was an insane experience. I worked 10-13hrs Tuesday-Friday.

Yuting came down on Thursday and then she went shopping on Friday. We went out to dinner at a really good Italian restaurant where we had the most amazing vanilla bean Panna Cotta.

Everyone was really nice at CNN and Richard Roth gave me his card and told me to stay in touch. It's kind of unreal that I was able to do all of that but I made some good connections and had a great time.

Now it's back at school, project and novella are driving me crazy but I think I'm starting to figure out where I'm going with both so it's exciting too. This coming weekend is Fall Break which will be nice. Maybe I'll actually get some work done.

Ajay and Lalita (for Novella)

I was only six the day Ajay came to live with us. His parents were killed during a missile attack on his village and my father had been named his guardian. Ajay was ten at the time and very quiet. His eyes, a surprising hazel, were filled with the pain and horror of recent events but when my father introduced us he let me hold his hand in comfort and I knew, even then, that he needed me as much as I needed him. My mother’s body was weak and my birth had damaged her beyond repair. Where most families had three or more children my family only had me and my life so far had been a lonely one. Ajay with his solemn presence filled a hole in our family and we quickly welcomed him into our home almost forgetting that we had had a life before him and forgetting the past that, unknown to us, continued to be his present.

Maze

I wonder where it all went, all that emotion and beauty and sweetness. It has been replaced by a bitter taste and fiery anger. The bruise on my arm is still tender, a half circle signaling a piece of the never ending argument that is taking place even in silence.

Indecisiveness has ruined it, all of it. I wish we could start anew, friends, no catty verbal slaps and grudges. I wish I hadn't been a step behind at every corner. I wish we had been on the same page. Instead claustrophobia set in, terrifying questions were posed and I pushed you away a day at a time. I know how it happened and yet I still find myself asking the question.

The maze is so complex now, there is no way to find a path back, there is only the road ahead.

Update

Sorry it's been so long. After BGIA ended I spent a week at my mom's friend's apartment, it was amazing. I got to relax and have a ton of time to myself before heading home for three weeks. My time at home was great too, it was just what summer is supposed to be. I watched a ton of TV, wrote my essay for Tom Parker, ate all of my favorite foods (gained a few pounds in the process haha) and saw my friends. It went by far to quickly. Before leaving, mom and I went to eat at Delancey in Seattle, Orangette's new restaurant, it was delicious.

Once I got to Bard, PC training began right away but it turned out to be a lot better than I had thought it would be :)
Now my first week of Senior year is already over and I'm still floundering a bit, figuring out classes, terrified by senior project, but happy. I know I'm going to keep saying this over and over but I can't believe I'm a senior. One year and then the bubble I've been living in for four years disappears, real life here I come, eek!

I can't take the Ulysses history class cause I just don't have enough time and Poetry and Society is boring but I'm still in Novella, and Photo, History and the News. Senior Project of course and hopefully Mark Danner's literature class. I will see on Tuesday. Working at DOSO is really great. I'm also now on the fundraising committee for the Senior class but I think it's all going to be awesome. Seeing Yuting again is wonderful, I missed her a lot. Life is good!

सवोरिंग सुम्मेर

Well today is my last day at HRF and the end of BGIA Summer 2009. I turned in my Core essay yesterday and my other one is due next Friday. I move out of the Y tomorrow and will be staying in my mom's college roommate's house for the next week, I'm really looking forward to it. I can't believe how fast it's all gone by. In four weeks I will be back at Bard and on my way to Senior year, talk about scary. Life is good besides a few bumps here and there. I'm reading The Sum of our Days by Isabel Allende, I love how funny and honest she is. Well I suppose that's my little update for now. Time to savor the rest of my summer and I'll leave you with a quote:

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. -Kahlil Gibran

Darshan
by:Irene Black

Alone, we two
travel dust-layered
along the unfamiliar road.

How long?
An hour maybe, a day? Who knows, who cares?
Visions of temples, dark, inscrutable,
flicker and fade away,
time-shimmered into obscurity.

Here is no town, no habitation,
only the silent calm of reapers in distant fields,
and the lame bucking of black, bristled swine,
pincered by the thorny talons
of satin-suited crows.

Two grizzled buffalo, horns
resting like folded wings
graze in a grass-damp ditch;
while on a tarmac-flattened patch of road
a woman in a purple sari
sifts golden ragi, newly-threshed
beneath unwitting tyres.

At last the fields lie bare; their honey spilled.
Air flecked with powdered gold;
with slow applauding hoof beats and protesting squeals
of wooden cartwheels passing close;
with the sweet breath of karma-laden oxen
bearing the harvest home.

The undiscovered gods wait in the temple.
Let them stay hidden in dark places.
Clothed in golden glances
we two are divine

*Just a poem I found online that I happened to like