Under Pressure

I've noticed that I have a tendency to push and push until my relationships with people break under the pressure. I try to get people to prove themselves to me over and over again. It is like I want to be right every time and it is a kind of satisfaction when I am. But secretly I'm hoping that this time, this one won't give in and it will last through everything. Like I said, drawn out until all that's left is shattered moments. I'm good at that, I know it will happen and I just have to be around to see when it does. I don't even know what I want but it is as though if someone else can know then I can make up my mind around that. It's silly, it's like a game and I always win but the prize isn't all that great. It's funny how things work out. I wonder what comes out of it all, what was the point? what was the purpose of it all? I guess I just need things to make sense. I like closure and clear endings. It's like a cleansing fire, burning out everything so that what grows next will be healthy and strong.